The 10 Stoner Commandments

Smoking weed is supposed to be chill, so there is no place for making rules. While that is mostly true a smoke session can be made much more enjoyable. Those Commandments aren’t set in stone, but rather come from years of experience with smoking. If you see yourself breaking one of the Commandments, do not worry most of us have at a certain point, and when you are super high, all bets are off and no one can hold you accountable.


1.       Always share the joint

There are very few things as annoying as annoying as seeing someone smoke a joint, but not offer to pass it. If you happen to be the only person in the room with weed, you only have two choices: share the weed with everyone (right choice) or go outside and smoke it by yourself (very a-social of you). Whatever you do however, do not just light up a joint in the middle of the room and smoke it by yourself, while all of the stoners are looking hungrily, hoping you will come to your senses and pass it to them.

2.       Always ash before passing

When someone gives you a joint, instinctively you take a hit. It is a great feeling only comparable with taking a sip of water when you are dying of thirst. The moment can quickly get spoiled however, if ash falls on your pants, or couch, after you take that first pull. That is why it is important to always ash before you pass the joint. It can get quite hard to remember when you are high, but do it enough times and it becomes a habit.

3.       The one who rolled it lights it

Some people love rolling, others do not, but in any case the one who rolls it lights it. That does not mean that you are obliged to start, you can always let someone else light the joint for you, I for one prefer the joint when it has been smoked for a while and is burning properly. The rule is really meant for that small group of people, who will ask you if they can light the joint. If you roll the joint you kind of own it, so it really is up to you who starts it.

4.     Don’t let it go off

It has happened to all of us. You are smoking a joint, but at a certain point you forget about it you might be talking, or eating it does not matter the joint goes off. You might argue that it is no big deal, since all you have to do is light it up again, and you are right. There is however an old stoner legend that says that a re-lit joint has a bad, ashy taste. Also if you held the joint for so long that it went off, you made the next person to have it wait for way longer that they should have.

5.       Do not roll, if you can’t roll

This is one of the worst sins that you can commit. If you are in a group and you are just learning how to roll, or can not at all, don’t insist on doing it. What you will get is a joint that smokes bad and essentially a lose of weed. That being said it does not mean that only the pros should roll. You can always roll joints by yourself to practice. You can do it with tobacco or weed and simply break up the joint and use the tobacco or weed again and again. As long as you can roll a smokable joint everything is fine, the problem only arises when you roll a joint that is so bad, it can not be smoked and you light it up. That has actually happened to me personally a few times and it is easily the most annoying thing that can happen when smoking.

6.       Do not break the circle

When a few people are smoking, siting on the couch or around the table, do not be the one that gets up with the joint and gives it to someone else on the party, that isn’t really sitting in that circle. What happens very often is that the joint will never make its way back to the original group. That is pretty annoying for everyone, especially the person that was supposed to receive the joint right after you. Often times at parties you will have friends that are smokers, but are not present currently, while the joint is being passed. It is understandable that you would want to give it to them, but doing that breaks the circle and is very disrespectful to everyone there.

7.       Keep passing in the same direction

Similarly to breaking the circle, this one often happens at parties. You and and some people are smoking, when someone comes in and asks for the joint, you give it and after that person is done he passes it to the next one, but in the wrong direction. This is very annoying to the person who was actually supposed to receive the joint and ruins the whole balance of how much everyone was supposed to smoke. The solution is very simple though, just watch out for the new guy and let him know who he needs to pass to.

8.       Always have Munchies

This one is simple and needs no explanation. At your house, have food. Any kind of food that you do not really need to cook is good, so just get some.


9.       Do not run out of papers, tips or a lighter

Even more annoying that not having weed, is having it, but being able to smoke it. If you do not have a bong or a pipe and only smoke joints you should always be prepared with the necessary equipment. Having weed, but no papers is way worse than not having weed, because it feels like you are so close. The hard part of getting weed is done and all you need are some papers that you can easily buy in the shop. But if you do not have them you are screwed, especially in the middle of the night it is probably easier to get weed than papers. You can always improvise the filter tips, but having the real thing is better.

10.   No negative talk

Smoking weed is all about being positive, so try and keep it that way.

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